Murphy's Laws N

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The N-1 Law
If you need four screws for the job, the first three are easy to find.

Nader's Law
The speed of exit of a civil servant is directly proportional to the quality of his service.

NASA Skylab Rule
Don't do it if you can't keep it up.

NASA Truisms
1.Research is reading two books that have never been read in order to write a third that will never be
read.
2.A consultant is an ordinary person a long way from home.
3.Statistics are a highly logical and precise method for saying a half-truth inaccurately.

Law of Nations
In an underdeveloped country, don't drink the water; in a developed country, don't breathe the air.

Navy Law
If you can keep your head when all about you others are losing theirs, maybe you just don't
understand the situation.

NBC's Addendum to Murphy's Law
You never run out of things that can go wrong.

Nef's Law
There is a solution to every problem; the only difficulty is finding it.

Nessen's Law
Secret sources are more credible.

Law of new civically backed football stadiums
If they build it, you will pay.

Law of New Fangled Gadgetry
The most expensive component is the one that breaks.

The New Math Version of Murphy's Law
If there is a 50/50 chance of something going wrong, nine times out of ten it will.

New Theory of Relativity
How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you are on.

Newman's Law
Hypocrisy is the Vaseline of social intercourse.

Newton's Little-known Seventh Law
A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.

Nick the Greek's Law
All things considered, life is 9-to-5 against.

Nienberg's Law
Progress is made on alternate Fridays.

Nies's Law
The effort expended by the bureaucracy in defending any error is in direct proportion to the size of
the error.

Ninety-ninety Rule of Project Schedules
The first ninety percent of the task takes ninety percent of the time, and the last ten percent takes the
other ninety percent.

Nixon's Rule
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

No. 3 Pencil Principle
Make it sufficiently difficult for people to do something, and most people will stop doing it.
Corollary - If no one uses something, it isn't needed.

Nobel Effect
There is no proposition, no matter how foolish, for which a dozen Nobel signatures cannot be
collected. Furthermore, any such petition is guaranteed page-one treatment in the New York Times.

Nobel Principle
Only someone who understands something absolutely can explain it so no one else can understand
it.

Noble's Law of Political Imagery
All other things being equal, a bald man cannot be elected President of the United States.
Corollary - Given a choice between two bald political candidates, the American people will vote for
the less bald of the two.

Nonreciprocal Laws of Expectations
1.Negative expectations yield negative results.
2.Positive expectations yield negative results.

North Carolina Equine Paradox
Vyarzerzomanimororsezassezanzerareorses?

Nowlan's Truism
An 'acceptable level of unemployment' means that the government economist to whom it is
acceptable still has a job.

Nursing Mother Principle
Do not nurse a kid who wears braces.

Nyquist's Theory of Equilibrium
Equality is not when a female Einstein gets promoted to assistant professor; equality is when a
female schlemiel moves ahead as fast as a male schlemiel.