Murphy's Laws J

J

Jacob' Law
To err is human -- to blame it on someone else is even more human.

Jacquin's Postulate on Democratic Government
No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.

Jake's Law
Anything hit with a big enough hammer will fall apart.

Jaroslovsky's Law
The distance you have to park from your apartment increases in proportion to the weight of
packages you are carrying.

Jay's Laws of Leadership
1.Changing things is central to leadership, and changing them before anyone else is creativity.
2.To build something that endures, it is of the greatest important to have a long tenure in office -- to
rule for many years. You can achieve a quick success in a year or two, but nearly all of the great
tycoons have continued their building much longer.

Jenkinson's Law
It won't work.

Jinny's Law
There is no such thing as a short beer. (As in, "I'm going to stop off at Joe's for a short beer before
on the way home.")

John Cameron's Law
No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered, take it, because it'll never be quite the same
again.

John's Axiom
When your opponent is down, kick him.

John's Collateral Corollary
In order to get a loan you must first prove you don't need it.

Johns Laws of Problems
1.Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out.
2.Almost anything is easier to get into than to get out of.
3.Urgency varies inversely with importance.

Johnson's First Law
When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the most inconvenient possible time.

Johnson's First Law of Auto Repair
Any tool dropped while repairing an automobile will roll under the car to the vehicle's exact
geographic center.

Johnson's Law
The number of minor illnesses among the employees is inversely proportional to the health of the
organization.

Johnson's Laws
1.When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the most inconvenient time.
2.If, in the course of several months, only three worthwhile social events take place, they will all fall on
the same evening.
3.If you miss one issue of any magazine, it will be the issue containing the article, story, or installment
you were most anxious to read.
Corollary - All of your friends either missed it, lost it, or threw it out.

Johnson's Second Law
If, in the course of several months, only three worthwhile social events take place, they will all fall on
the same evening.

Johnson's Third Law
If you miss one issue of any magazine, it will be the issue that contains the article, story or
installment you were most anxious to read.

Johnson-Laird's Law
Toothache tends to start on Saturday night.

Jones' Law (Nixon's Law)
The man who can smile when things go wrong -- has thought of someone he can blame it on.

Jones' Motto
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
McClaughry's Codicil on Jones's Motto: To make an enemy, do someone a favor.

Jones's Principle
Needs are a function of what other people have.

Joslyn's Law of Conferences
The most interesting paper will be presented at the same time as the second most interesting
paper.

Journalistic Principle
If a headline ends in a question mark, the answer is no.

Juhani's Law
The compromise will always be more expensive than either of the suggestions it's compromising.

Julia's Law of Kitchen of Confusion
Once a dish is fouled up, anything added to save it will only make it worse.

Julian's Law
If it says "one size fits all," it doesn't fit anyone.