Murphy's photography laws

Murphy's photography laws

* You are not Ansel Adams
* Neither are you Herb Ritz
* Automatic Cameras - Aren't
* Auto Focus - won't
* If you can't remember, you left the film at home
* No photo assignment remains unchanged after the first day of shooting
* When in doubt, motor out
* If a photo shoot goes too smoothly, then the lab will lose the film
* If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid
* Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the Client is watching
* The most critical roll of film is fogged
* If you forgot, then you did not rewind the film
* Photo Assistants are essential, they give photographers someone to yell at
* The one item (batteries, film, and ect.) you need is always in short supply
* Interchangeable parts aren't
* Long life batteries only last for a couple of rolls
* Weather never cooperates
* Everything always works in your home, everything always fails on location
* For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism
* The newest and least experienced photographer will usually win the Pulitzer
* Every instruction given to a lab, which can be misunderstood, will be
* There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work
* Never tell the Photo Editor you have nothing to do
* Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't
* No photojournalist is well dressed
* No well dressed photographer is a photojournalist
* Professional photographers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs
* The nature shots invariably happen on two occasions:
-when animals are ready.
-when you're not.
* Same rule just substitute children
* Client Intelligence is a contradiction
* There is no such thing as a perfect shoot
* The important things are always simple
* The simple things are always hard
* Flashes will fail as soon as you need them
* A clean (and dry) camera is a magnet for dust, mud and moisture
* Photo experience is something you never get until just after you need it
* The self-importance of a client is inversely proportional to his position in the hierarchy (as is his deviousness and mischievousness)
* The lens that falls is always the most expensive.
* when you drop a lens cap, the inside part always lands face down in the mud.
* Bugs always want to land on the mirror during a lens swap.
* Your batteries will always go dead or you will need to put in a new film canister at the least opportune moment.
* Your batteries will always go dead during a long exposure (so with the shutter open).
* When you shoot the night away and never have to stop. Your film did not roll on to the take up reel.
Sent by Les Benton
* Camera are designed with a built-in sensor, that senses the anticipation to develop the film.
When the level of anticipation is highest, this sensor causes the back to flip open exposing the film.
Sent by Takura Razemba
* Lenses are attracted back to their source - hard rocks.
Corollary:
The more expensive the lens, the greater the attraction.
* No matter how long you've had a convention for marking film holders, you will forget it - when exposing the once-in-a-lifetime shot.
* Safelights - aren't.
* The greater a photographer's excitement, the greater its chance of fogging film, scratching prints, and deleting files.
* The success of an assignment is inversely proportional to the product of its importance and the number of people watching.
* Strobes only explode when lots of people are watching.
Corollary:
Strobes only work when there is nobody else to see.
The last six laws and corollaries were sent by Jason Antman

Source: http://www.murphys-laws.com/